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Band Santa Chaos
Here we are, bells clang as the season rolls in,
Florida sky overhead, bourbon’s my best friend.
Here we go again — Mum’s got the boxes out.
Dad’s already lost the scissors, what’s this all about?
Max is tangling lights like he’s doing it for laughs,
Liv’s arguing with the tree, oh man, what are the odds?
Here we go again — the season’s out of control.
Boxes, lights, and chaos — it’s the same old show.
I’m laughing, I’m shaking my head,
Christmas hits like it always does,
Here we go again.
If two nutcrackers last year weren’t strange enough,
With the last brown truck drop it looked like Bunker Hill tough.
Dad’s clueless as to where things go next,
Mum’s mission control lets his mess slide, I guess.
Max and Liv wrestle baubles from the cat,
Oh man — the season is spiraling just like that.
Here we go again — the season’s out of control.
Boxes, lights, and chaos — it’s the same old show.
I’m laughing, I’m shaking my head,
Christmas hits like it always does,
Here we go again.
I’m stuck in the middle of this madness,
Trying not to get pulled into the chaos, I’m so gladness.
Someone’s yelling about batteries, can’t find the tape,
And I’m just counting down till the feast takes shape.
Here we go again — the season’s out of control.
Boxes, lights, and chaos — it’s the same old show.
I’m laughing, I’m shaking my head,
Christmas hits like it always does,
Here we go again.
Dad stops in the grooming aisle like it’s some kind of test,
He picks up a Zuper 2000, his mind’s in a mess.
I’m watching him flip boxes, hoping he’ll choose right,
A lady walks past, whispers “good luck,” takes flight.
And Dad just sighs, grabs something random, keeps on,
Like Christmas is a race, but all I feel is fun.
Here we go again — the season’s out of control.
Boxes, lights, and chaos — it’s the same old show.
I’m laughing, I’m shaking my head,
Christmas hits like it always does,
Here we go again.
ABOUT THIS SONG
Written and produced by Tasmanian songwriter Jason Bresnehan, Bad Santa’s Chaos is a musical arrangement in the jive genre with a male vocal. The song places a less-than-perfect Santa inside the familiar disorder of Christmas, but with a twist: Santa already knows the backstory. From the presents beneath the tree, Santa can see the domestic chaos that unfolded before Santa arrived, from lost scissors and tangled lights to confused shopping decisions and the usual family attempts to get Christmas under control.
The lyrics follow Santa moving through another enormous Christmas Eve delivery run, observing variations of the same story from house to house. Families unpack decorations, parents improvise, children and pets complicate proceedings, parcels arrive and seemingly simple purchasing decisions become major events. Santa responds with the recurring observation, “Here we go again.” The joke is that very little surprises Santa anymore. After visiting countless homes over countless Christmases, Santa has effectively seen every version of Christmas chaos before, even when the names, houses and circumstances change.
The artwork takes the narrator literally, showing Santa sitting beside a decorated Christmas tree with presents, tangled coloured lights and a bottle in hand. The disordered lights and relaxed Santa create the visual world of the song: Christmas has once again become chaotic, and Santa is hardly an impartial observer of proceedings. The image supports the song’s slightly irreverent version of Santa, who has been around long enough to recognise that Christmas disorder is almost as traditional as Christmas itself.
This song forms part of the Merry Christmas Collection by Seventh Ribbon Music.
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Jason Bresnehan is a Songwriter, Author and Consultant: Business & Recovery